You wouldn’t think it was something to be concerned about. At first glance beer seems to pass the vegan test without much dispute. Beer in its purest form is made from water, malt, hops, and yeast. Depending on the brand and type, other ingredients find their way in giving you a fruit beer,…
I like science first thing in the morning. Want to know why you feel like shit after that bottle of wine? Let the power of science tell you!
Today i will not be sharing any sort of magical, secret remedy. No pill, drink or food. Nope, I’m too hungover, so Instead we will discuss Sleep. Because sleep is exactly what I am doing.
If you are hungover you should save yourself the pain, and others the sight by just staying in bed. Rest is your best friend at this point to give your body a chance to recover. So take advantage of this day.
If you work, call in sick. You sound like shit so they will believe you. And technically you are in fact sick, so it’s not like you’re lying. That’s called cheating the system.
Get up only to pee, drink water, or get yourself a puke bucket. Do everything you can in bed. Eat, drink, watch tv, give yourself a baby wipe shower. Just don’t get up. You have committed yourself, and you my friend are no quitter. Are bed pans still a legitimate means of urine disposal?
If you have a personal butler at your disposal use this to your full advantage today. Have him bring you magical hangover food every two hours until it stays down. If you do not have this luxury, stockpile the right side of your bed with essential hangover food items. I recommend almond butter, dates, cashews, olives, cookies, crackers, pita bread and your favorite dip. Pick at this smorgasbord of finger foods all day. Don’t be ashamed. Can any of your friends brag about their bed Picnic? Nope.
1. The fact that midnight is the official start of a new day, instead of whenever you wake up.
2. Mothers and fathers only receive one day of celebration per year, while sharks get an entire week.
3. Cell phones have essentially wiped out the option of pushing someone into the pool.
4. Not knowing how to spell something, and realizing that you may just have to replace it with another word.
5. Blackberries are done. They’ve failed to provide sufficient technological improvements, and are the cell phone equivalent of Myspace.
6. Getting cozy in bed, then realizing you have to get up to do something.
7. As important as your call to a company is, you’ll still probably be forced to listen to fifteen minutes of smooth jazz while you hold for the next available representative.
8. Many relationships nowadays don’t feel genuinely official, until it says it on Facebook.
9. Having your voice recorded and hearing it played back. You’ll cringe and wonder if you really sound that way all the time.
10. Non-alcoholic beer and decaffeinated coffee are actual products sold in stores.
11. Fixing things is rarely ever as easy as blowing into videogame cartridges was throughout the 90s.
12. Multiple trips to bring groceries inside of the house. Instead, we’ll struggle with 20 bags in each hand, as long as it means one journey.
13. Friends who eat brownies, washed down with Mountain Dew, and other awful sh-t — but remain outrageously skinny or in-shape.
14. The unspoken fact that a text message stating nothing but the phrase, “LOL,” means the conversation is entirely over.
15. Boredom and hunger being basically indistinguishable.
16. Being in the middle of telling a great story, and realizing that nobody is paying attention.
17. Tyler Perry is going to continue making movies, and Nickelback is going to continue making music. (And they’ll probably continue to be highly successful — so if you don’t enjoy ‘em, don’t watch or listen.)
18. Your cell phone falling to the ground will almost always draw more concern from others than you tripping or slipping, and going for a tumble.
19. When you are strongly attracted to a person but they don’t reciprocate those feelings, and they’re just not going to — no matter what you do.
20. LeBron James is currently the greatest basketball player in the world, and he’s got a championship ring to back it up.
21. Continuously high gas prices.
22. Even higher orange juice prices. I mean, seriously, the vitamin C can’t help our bodies out too much if we lose an arm and a leg every time we buy a carton.
23. Christian Bale’s Batman voice. It’s tragic that Batman himself is the worst aspect of Batman movies.
24. When it’s 8:01 and you’re scheduled to be at work at 8:00, so you should probably get out of bed.
25. Season finales with epic cliffhangers or brilliant storylines that leave us wanting more… Yeah, I’m looking at you, Walking Dead.
Remember that time I did an 8 Day Juice Cleanse… Did I stay away from parties and social gatherings? Hells No! I brought my health with me, and still ended up dancing on a table! Just be awesome….
You smell like dumpster and your mouth tastes like the carpet at a strip club. You look down at your arm and notice 5 stamps. Fuck. You get up to wash your face and when you get to the bathroom you notice the 3 stamps on your forehead. Your immediate reaction is to make sure you are wearing pants… you’re not. In fact, you have somehow managed to keep your shoes on as you removed your pants AND underwear at some point early this morning…
YOU NEED A DRINK.. STAT … Let me introduce to you the GREEN MIMOSA
1 part green juice ( Spinach, cucumber, apple, kale, lemon, ginger is my favorite)
1 part Organic Raw Kombucha
Mix in a glass and enjoy.
Kombucha is an all natural health beverage full of probiotics and other healthy amino acids. Probiotics are said to boost immunity, enhance mood, regulate pH, and detoxify the body. Quadruple win!
***DO NOT SHAKE YOUR KOMBUCHA. You will end up wearing it.
Alcohol makes you piss like a race horse. Not only are you losing fluids but you are also depleting your body of necessary vitamins! ACK! Vitamins will help to get your ass out of bed after a night of partying; and will also offer a host of other health benefits!!
Vitamin A– Vitamin A helps form and maintain healthy skin, teeth, skeletal and soft tissue, mucus membranes, and skin. You are going to need help with allllll of those if you are staying up until 4am. Carrots pal! CARROTS, drink it in juice, eat a couple stalks, or just take a tbsp of spirulina!
Vitamin B – Bloodshot eyes and an unbalanced nervous system come together with a hangover headache. Vitamin B1 calms nerves while B2 helps with bloodshot eyes among other overall positive effects on your body. No one neeeeds to know how shitty you feel by looking into your eyes.
Vitamin C – Vitamin C will help stimulate the liver, and help it break down the alcohol that is still in your system. Alcohol also depresses the immune system, so consider taking vitamin C to help ward off the cold or flu after drinking. So drink a glass or orange juice or make a smoothie with acai berries!
Vitamin D – Your nervous system is in shreds during an alcohol hangover, so vitamin D helps soothe shaky nerves. It also helps heal any broken bones you might have sustained from falling down steps when drunk. Trust me… I know.
Simply eat something delicious that contains these vitamins will do the trick of hangover relief nicely. Or Juice… The answer to all questions is freshly juiced fruits and vegetables!