Say My Name – Why pet names are ruining your sex life
Pet names are weird. I often find myself wondering if these pet names we use are really terms of endearment or a cute subtle way of disconnecting from your partner? What’s in a nickname or pet name? How is it decided? This is pet name phenomenon probably one of the most common, socially accepted habits that can develop in relationships. Nearly everyone calls their loved one an endearing nickname. Why do we do it? It can’t be all that bad can it? Yes it can!
Calling your partner “honey” or something along those lines is the first fall down the slippery slope toward a bland or nonexistent sexual relationship. It may start out small with babe, but this babe will very quickly morph into honey, hon, pooh bear, sweetie, love bug, pumpkin, cuddles, cutie pie, doober and other disgusting names that will ultimately take away any strong female or male qualities you and your partner may have had. Like seriously, Pooh bear– do you have IBS? Is it his way of letting you know that he thinks you’re cute regardless of your daily bowel movements? Pumpkin? Have you been frequenting your local tanning salon?
One of the most important parts of our unique identity is our name. Maybe you have a name that suits your personality. Maybe you find your name to be beautiful. Or maybe your name is the name of a mother or grandmother. There is something in a name. Our parents spent hours choosing the perfect name to give to their child; a name that they will carry with them with pride for the rest of their lives. Why would you want to lose that? Whether we like it or not, our name is the most obvious sign of our identity. And isn’t your identity the reason they fell in love with you in the first place? When you’re both calling each other sweetheart a small part of your identity is slowly disappearing. By using it, you subconsciously take the sexual tension down a notch in the way you communicate with your lover. This seemingly innocent word will effectively take away their individuality, their sex, their female/maleness, and what makes them different from you.
As a woman I feel that childlike nicknames like these put women in a childlike state. These less than sexy nicknames will change the way you feel about your partner, from a husband or boyfriend to a daddy like state of mind. You are no longer the strong sexy woman you once were, you have become a little girl waiting to be rescued.
Your relationship should be a never ending first date. You are not a generic human being, and you do not deserve a generic name. Think about what happens when a man says your name. Oh what a turn on, it is the sexiest thing a man can do. The simplicity of calling you by your name, the name that was given to you. The name that you identify with, the name that has shaped your personality. The name that you see on a degree, or on an office door; the name that makes you feel accomplished and strong.
So call your lover by their name; their strong, sexy name, and leave the pet names for the cats.