Brains over Beauty?
She sat across the table from me and started to spit the truth. “…he has everything but looks Cando!” “He tagged us in a Facebook picture and I deleted it…” This moment of truth got me to thinking. How shallow are we as a society? How much are we willing to give up for looks? For pride? How important are looks really?
Generally speaking, the healthier the specimen, the more attracted to it others will be. This is not only true for humans, but also the animal kingdom. The more beautiful the peacock, the more hens surround him. The bigger the nest, the more appealing the female finds him. We have built a whole world around this obsession with looks. How our food looks, how our hair, skin and feet look. How our houses are decorated, how things are branded and marketed; what we watch, read, and see is largely determined by how attractive we find it.
Personality and talent is important sure, but only second to our initial first impression; aka: what we see. Take a look at the entertainment industry. It’s full of beautiful people with little to no talent. Does anyone know what half of these celebrities do? What does Kim Kardasian contribute to society other than provide that 16 year kid with his wet dreams for the year? Sure Lana Del Rey is beautiful, surgery will do that. But has anyone noticed she has the personality of a shoebox!? Watching her perform is like watching paint dry, it’s just unnecessary…
Looks have always been important, and will always be in some form. Where do you think the phrase Love of first sight came from? It wasn’t love at first conversation. No, the conversation came after the initial attraction. But did you know, that if you were to survey a room filled with women 80% of them would say sense of humor and intelligence is what they find most attractive. Unlike what we see on TV and the movies, the majority of people on this planet are very ordinary looking. What makes a person extraordinary and attractive is their personality and how they carry themselves.
Women are motivated by looks just as much as men are; but then start to rate you the minute your mouth starts moving. A man’s face begins to mould with the first 20 seconds they are engaged in conversation. This means, that this super hot dude with killer arms could turn to an average Joe within 1 minute depending on the experience the she is having. Women tend to be attracted by looks, evaluate you on personality, and then rate your desirability as a mate… on a scale they have created in their heads. Are we nuts? A bit, yeah… But we go on what we feel, not what we see. Have you ever seen that hot blonde walking down the street holding hands with the average, Jonah Hill-looking type? Chances are he radiates confidence and makes her laugh until she tinkles a bit; two qualities that mean more to most women than looks.
I went on a date with a model once. He was gorgeous, and I wanted to lick tahini off of his washboard abs. His eyes were so blue, I felt like they were staring directly into my soul… Had he any idea what a soul was!! During our 30 minute dinner conversation he managed to tell me 4 different ways to make toast, and why he couldn’t eat toast. Was it worst date I had ever been on? No, he was in no way rude, and didn’t vomit at the dinner table. But he was dull, completely uneducated, and seemed to live in a world where only he, and forbidden toast existed. He wasn’t passionate about anything, had no interests, or had any knowledge about anything outside of his personal bubble. I no longer wanted to lick anything off his chest. I wanted to go home and read every piece of work ever written by Jonathan Swift. And longed for someone to penetrate me while simultaneously reciting Frank O’Hara poetry.
So what is it that we want? Can we have both? Of course! It’s all about presentation, if you look like shit, you will attract shit – It’s that simple. In our minds we think we want the Hottie with 12-pack abs, but really we just want someone who looks put together, and makes us feel comfortable.
So wash your hair, and clean underneath your nails, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you don’t need to be obviously hot in order for someone to think you’re sexy.