Inside The Mind Of A Vegan Alchemist. Carnivore Approved.

Shit People Say to Vegans

Where do you get your protein?
Give it a rest already! Atkins was soooo 2006…

Salad is what food eats.
There is a reason for that.

Soo, what can you eat?
I can eat whatever I want. A carcass just doesn’t tickle my fancy.

You’re vegan? Great! I’ll make fish.
Wait?!?! When did we decide fish wasn’t an animal? What is it considered now? A parsnip… That swims?

Eggs are considered dairy?
Please pass me that dictionary so I can beat you senseless with it.

I’m like a vegan, I only eat free range.
… that doesn’t even makes sense.

I’d be vegan but I can’t live without steak.
That’s like a rapist saying, oh I could never stop raping, I love it too much.

Are you gay too?
Vegan is a dietary choice… It has nothing to do with Sexuality or lifestyle.

Do you eat animal crackers?
I refuse to dignify that question with an answer.

But cows need to be milked.
If a cow NEEDS to be milked, then so do you.

So that’s why you’re so skinny…
No, I exercise, a lot.

My food eats your food.
Actually your food is force fed hormones and other dead animals… So in fact your food eats … Well, your food.

What are you a rabbit?
I’m just as adorable as one!

Vegetables feel pain too!
How about I jab you in the eye with a carrot, and you tell me who feels more pain, you or that carrot.

God told us to eat animals, it’s in the bible.
Please find me the verse in the bible that reads, “let us make man in our image, and let them have domination over the fish of the sea and birds of the heavens and over the livestock, as food…” the bible also says thou shall not kill, dummy.

I knew a vegan that got really sick and ate a steak and felt better.
I know a whole whack load of people that are eating animal products and suffer from cancer, heart disease, diabetes and obesity…

Vegans are hardcore terrorists.
If I’m a hardcore terrorist then you’re worse than Hitler.

But meat is sooo yummy!
I’d taste good with some BBQ sauce, but you wouldn’t eat a human.

You don’t look like a vegan.
Your predetermined notion of what a vegan should look like, or how one should act is incredibly outdated, turn off your tv and read something.

I’d get bored, I can’t eat the same thing all the time.
So, don’t…

I have a lawn you can graze…
Oh wow! really? So you’re a terrible host as well as an asshole?

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