Inside The Mind Of A Vegan Alchemist. Carnivore Approved.

How to Date a Vegan, Properly.

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We are taking over your coffee shops, bakeries and favorite restaurants. We are demanding options and making you realize that a vegan way of living isn’t odd or granola. As a society we view an alternative lifestyle as hard work and associate the person with groups such as hippies, animal rights activists and extremists of all shapes.

This thought easily crosses over when dating. Men often take a step back and then proceed with caution after a woman reveals that she is living a vegan or raw lifestyle. It is as if omnivores believe we are in some secret society, just waiting to unleash the left-winged tricks we have hiding up our sleeves.

Men, there is no need to be afraid, the only thing the term vegan has attached to it is that you are out with a woman in touch with her environment. You are on a date with a woman of compassionate nature, with strong moral value and a passion for life. You’ve hit the jackpot here… You are about to embark on a wild journey of self-discovery, but in order to do so you must woo her first. You may think you’ve got this, but trust me when I say that 85% of you have no idea what is it a woman wants… Let alone a vegan.

So let me help you on this journey to finding a mate. Here are some easy and idiot-proof steps to get the ball rolling:

Put some thought into it: The first date says a lot about a person, and I’m not talking about the customary Q&A that goes along with it. No, what I’m talking about takes place long before the date has even happened. The planning. When a man asks a woman out it must be with conviction. Think before you invite, assess the situation by noticing her wardrobe, her accessories (like the yoga mat on her back), and the surrounding in which you met. Just like football, there has to be a game plan.

Know what you’re signing up for: If cheeseburgers and milkshakes are your idea of a romantic dinner, you may want to get out, now.

Be thoughtful: Any Joe can ask her out to dinner, and trust me, many have and many will. What makes you different from every other dude in the company she keeps? Stand out. Do something she won’t expect! Be creative. Show her your unique personality right off the bat. …and no, Coffee is never, ever, EVER an acceptable activity for a first date. Like, common, how fucking cheap are you?

Do your research: If you do decide that dinner is the way you want to go, then be thoughtful. Do some research, take her somewhere hip and exciting; especially if you’re dating a vegan. Chances are that she has thrown this crucial bit of information at you right a way. So roll with it.There are probably two places she eats when she goes out, and trust me she does not want to eat there with you. So don’t go for the mainstream and obvious. And for the love of god don’t ask her where she CAN eat. This causes immediate feeling of tension as she feels the need to tell you she can eat anywhere (she can’t, you have just put her on the spot). So go online, ask a friend or coworker, or even call your favorite restaurant in advance and see if they can prepare a special something. In MY opinion, that move wins every time.

Salad is not a meal: We’re people not rabbits! Don’t choose your favorite restaurant just because you believe they have great salads, cuz they’re not great, salads are boring. Vegans do not live off salad; cupcakes are very much part of the equation. She can probably fix up something waaaay better at home, she’s not void of flavour, just animals.

Have what she’s having: You wouldn’t question a Kosher person for not eating pork, so you shouldn’t question a vegan for not eating, well… pork. So why not be a little bit adventurous and take a walk on quinoa side of life? By asking to try her meal or taking her to an all vegan restaurant you are showing an interest in what interests her. This makes you look like a cool, sensitive dude.

You’re jokes aren’t funny: Avoid vegan jokes at all costs; they’re brutal, and if it is a good one she’s heard it, twice, no -three times. If you do, she will immediately decide you’re a jerk-off who views her lifestyle choices as entertainment. That’s not the approach you’re going for. Don’t focus the entire date on her vegan-ism. Drawing excessive attention to her choice will only make her uncomfortable and defensive. Most vegans don’t preach, unless they are provoked.

Just because you’re dating a vegan doesn’t mean you have to become one. There’s always room for improvement when it comes to diet and exercise, but it isn’t necessary to adapt to a vegan lifestyle to gain her affection. Unless she’s a vegansexual, but then it’s doomed anyway.

2 responses

  1. BRAVA! How fantastic and well said! You are now one of my favourite vegans ever. I like how you underlined that “most vegans are not preachy, unless provoked.” Yay for non-preachy vegans! Also, I agree: salads, unless you make them epic with sixteen ingredients, half of which are not veggies, are cool, but I NEVER order salads in restaurants. (Don’t me wrong: I looove salads, but I have this principle that I never order something that I could make easily or better at home.)

    I’ve been vegan for almost nine years and have had a handful of significant others during that span, and they all demonstrated immense patience and interest—except for one, who squawked like a chicken as he ate chicken when we first started dated. How interesting that this supposed jerkbag ended up going vegan (we’ve broken up; he’s vegetarian now). My current delight’s heart melted when I greeted a fruit fly with a “hello, friend” when he took me out for dosas, even though he’s not vegan. And despite his living in a different city, he asks me for vegan recipes that he can make on his own. Swoooooon!

    Thanks for writing this article!

    What has been the one thing that stands out that a fine dude’s done for you to demonstrate his worthiness of being in your rad company?

    March 25, 2012 at 7:37 am

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! It has been something I have been planning in my mind for a good year now.

      I love comments like yours! I really love starting conversations in our veg community, it is so important that we share our experiences and tips etc. especially for newbies.

      Re: your question. I haven’t really dated anyone that has done anything truly over the top thoughtfully vegan. Hence my single status But one does stand out as being more thoughtful than the rest. He is notorious for sending me the menu prior to dinner when we go out. So i can preplan what i am eating and/or can begin to think about substitutions I want to make. So the thought is there…

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

      March 25, 2012 at 7:56 am

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