Inside The Mind Of A Vegan Alchemist. Carnivore Approved.

Canvas..What Canvas? The Edgy Veg checks out Cage Matches 2

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you threw two trained artists in cage with no rules to battle it out and paint at the same time?

Welcome to Art Battle TO’s Cage Matches. Last night I was fortunate enough to take part in the second battle of its kind. This live competitive art exhibition with no rules (well almost), is by far the wildest, messiest event I have been to in a while. Painters took their brushes and who knows what else into the cage for a series of free for all, cut throat 1-on-1 matches. Each match lasted ten minutes- 8 of which the artist was allowed to paint on their opponent’s canvas, touch their easel as well as physically assault them. There was only one rule… no lighting anything on fire-Darn. With the remaining two minutes both artists were given a chance to retrieve their easel and create a work of art out of their undoubtedly destroyed canvas. The audience then decided who had produced the better piece.

There was screaming, wrestling, tossing and struggling, and at some points there was even some painting. It was definitely the first time I have ever witnessed someone in a devil costume sodomize a stuffed unicorn in public. And most interesting to see what kind of street fighting artists are actually capable of. Each artist was introduced by their eccentric nickname and entered the ring in an equally wild outfit. Even the audience got a chance to get involved when one of the artists decided to douse their opponent in purple paint that he had hidden in this backpack. Overspray be damned- But really, what did you expect from something entitle “Cage Matches 2”?

All this havoc was then surrounded by an audience that somewhat resembled that of a WWF match; minus the rednecks and a few added hipsters.  There were two bars, so you could drown yourself in your favorite brew, and paintings were available for auction with a minimum bid of $20. The music was an appropriate mix of angry but engaging dub step; leaving you unsure if you should just stand there and watch, or break it down and cut a rug. Since they played some beats off the new Korn album, we decided to do both. Why not, we were at a high art meets street fighting event after all. It’s not like people weren’t walking around looking like The Blueman Group and the Teletubbies had a colourfully fucked up baby.

So next time, leave your evening best at home and check out this full-contact, live competitive painting exhibition. Trust me you will NOT be disappointed. My next move… Find out how I, the Edgy Veg can get in the ring.

The video will be posted tomorrow.

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