After a long night out, the last thing you want to do is put together your juicer and make a pulpy mess all over your kitchen. But juice is the fountain of youth, and WILL help that headache and sore body from the poison you filled it with the night before. So what do you do? Do you suffer and put up with the pain for hours, or do you plan ahead? Always ALWAYS plan ahead. it’s easy really…
- Juice a couple beets, and a lemon the night before you go out. To keep the juice nutrient dense store it in a glass jar and refrigerate.
- Wake up after a night of self abuse and walk to your fridge. Take out your pre-made juice and pour into a shot glass.
- Add a few drops of your favorite tincture. My favorite for hangovers include; Milk Thistle, Maca, Oil of oregano and Astragalus.
- Then shoot it and go back to bed! Voila!
Today’s Hangover Cure is brought to you by WHY THE EFF AM I SICK!? and Boy I wish I could have a beer. Today my friends I am sick. And I am sad to announce that it is not self induced. Nope this is not a hangover in the alcohol sense this is a good old fashioned, cough, cold and flu type of ass-kicker. Along with laying in bed looking as sexy as a head cold could possibly look, I am also doing a series of shots. No, not tequila… that wont help me one bit. Instead I have turned to mother nature to help cure me of this evil cold.
The basic shot consists of the following:
1 shot glass (duh)
Fresh Lemon Juice
- Fill the shot glass half full with lemon juice
- Fill the rest of the glass with water
- Add your Elixir of choice
Since I am fighting the flu, I will share my Immune Boosting Elixir with you today. This will boost your immunity, increase white blood cell count, stimulate growth of antibodies and elevate body’s resistance to bacteria and viruses.
5 drops oil of oregano
1 dropper full of Medicinal mushroom (Medicinal mushroom extracts including the Maitake mushroom, Reishi mushrooms and Shiitake mushrooms)
5 drops astragalus
- Drop all tinctures in a shot glass
- Add shot base
- Take shot 2-3 times a day
** Every tincture and brand is different. Purchase only organic and read the label. Different brands have different recommended daily doses. Follow these if they differ from above.
Nothing heals the tequila blues like a detoxifying, and refreshing Green Smoothie! No Chewing required! Your body will thank you for natures medication!
1 red grapefruit, peeled
1 banana, peeled
4 cups dandelion greens (or kale), chopped
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk or almond mylk
½ cup pineapple
- Add all the ingredients except for greens to your blender and pulse.
- Add the greens and blend on high for 30 seconds or until the smoothie is creamy.
I like science first thing in the morning. Want to know why you feel like shit after that bottle of wine? Let the power of science tell you!
Today i will not be sharing any sort of magical, secret remedy. No pill, drink or food. Nope, I’m too hungover, so Instead we will discuss Sleep. Because sleep is exactly what I am doing.
If you are hungover you should save yourself the pain, and others the sight by just staying in bed. Rest is your best friend at this point to give your body a chance to recover. So take advantage of this day.
If you work, call in sick. You sound like shit so they will believe you. And technically you are in fact sick, so it’s not like you’re lying. That’s called cheating the system.
Get up only to pee, drink water, or get yourself a puke bucket. Do everything you can in bed. Eat, drink, watch tv, give yourself a baby wipe shower. Just don’t get up. You have committed yourself, and you my friend are no quitter. Are bed pans still a legitimate means of urine disposal?
If you have a personal butler at your disposal use this to your full advantage today. Have him bring you magical hangover food every two hours until it stays down. If you do not have this luxury, stockpile the right side of your bed with essential hangover food items. I recommend almond butter, dates, cashews, olives, cookies, crackers, pita bread and your favorite dip. Pick at this smorgasbord of finger foods all day. Don’t be ashamed. Can any of your friends brag about their bed Picnic? Nope.
So, what’s the deal with coconut water? Coconut water become popular almost overnight. A year ago when I brought my bottle of self extracted Young Thai Coconut water into a social gathering people would call me a hippie and make fun of my choice in beverage. But now everyone’s drinking it… so what is the hype? Is it really THAT good for you? Well this question has a two part answer. Yes it CAN be good for you and yes it CAN be just another sugary drink. But let’s start with the benefits…
- Coconut water is packed with simple sugar, electrolytes, and minerals that rehydrate levels in the body. MUCH better than ANY sports drink available. However you still need to be consuming water on a regular basis, as water is the building block of life.
- It has a higher level of calcium, iron, manganese, magnesium, and zinc than many fruits– like oranges.
- It is a very good source of B-complex vitamins.
- Coconut water contains more potassium than a banana.
- It helps to break down and eliminate all forms of kidney and bladder stones.
- Coconut water benefits if taken during feverish conditions reduces fever, it is also known to calm nervous and emotional imbalances.
- Because of its anti-microbial properties it helps with flushing the liver.
- It happens to be one of the purest liquids known to man, and can be used during blood transfusions.
- Coconut water is naturally fat-free and low in calories.
- Coconut water calms upset stomachs and reduces vomiting.
So if it has all of these wonderful qualities and benefits, than how man coconut water NOT be good for you? Well, when any product begins to become mainstream or popular many other “not so great” brands tend to hop on board with a product that is of lower quality but claims the same things. So be sure to READ YOUR LABELS and know what you are buying! There are many brands that offer coconut water, but unless we read the label we would never know that it was filled with excess sugars and preservatives, or that the packaging is leeching toxins into the water…
Ideally you want to harvest your own coconut water, by purchasing a coconut from your grocery store, opening it yourself and drinking the water than using the meat. That being said, most people do not know how to open a coconut, and /or do not have a cleaver or machete or the patience to do so. So here are some guidelines to follow.
Always, always ALWAYS purchase juice, waters and sauces in glass bottles. Glass is the safest form of packaging and is also environmentally friendly. If glass is not available to you than choose a TetraPak, then canned, than plastic. Actually, just stay away from plastic all together… and READ YOUR LABEL. Just because it says 100% coconut water does not mean that it doesn’t have additives… be sure to select one that does not come from concentrate.
Keep in mind that all pre packaged coconut water has been pasteurized unless stated otherwise. This helps the water to remain fresher for longer. If your health food store or grocery store do offer frozen coconut water choose this over any other packaged water. Frozen coconut water is unpasteurized and will go bad quicker, but is also more expensive than those found in your grocery store beverage cooler. Many local Juice bars and Raw Food establishments tend to harvest their own water by opening fresh young thai coconuts and bottling the water. If you have access to this DRINK THAT. It will be unpasteurized and raw.
- I love the Young Thai Coconut water from my local juice bar Belmonte Raw. They open up the coconuts then bottle its water in glass.
- I also LOVE the taste of Nirvana Coconut water bottled in glass with small chunks of coco nut meat floating in it.
- When it comes to tetrapaks I like the taste of VitaCoco i find many Tetrapak’s leave a cardboard type taste and this one doesn’t at all.
- Blue Monkey is my favorite canned coconut water. It does not leave a tinny can aftertaste that many others do.
I hope this helped your quest for the perfect coconut water!
1 cup sugar
5 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/4 tsp. salt
huge nubbin of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
- Combine 2 cups of water, salt, ginger, sugar, and red pepper flakes in a pan over the stove.
- Bring the mixture to a boil and then reduce the heat and let it simmer for 10 minutes.
- Remove the pan from heat and let it sit, covered, until it is cool.
- Strain the syrup into a jar and put it in the fridge to chill.
- Fill a tall glass with ice.
- Put 2 Tbsp. of the spicy-gigner syrup and a lemon wedge into a glass.
- Fill the glass with soda water and stir.
This recipe is delicious when you are still half sauced and in search for an end to your bender misery. Add fresh fruit or other superfoods like Acai berries, cacao nibs, or maca and you have a complete breakfast!
1/2 cup milk thistle, soaked overnight
1/4 cup flax seedssoaked in 1/2 cup water overnight
3-4 soaked organic dried apricots
1 tbsp agave nectar
1 tbsp maca
1 tbsp VeganProtein powder
1 tsp cinnamon
Process all the ingredients in a food processor with the “S” blade until a thick porridge is achieved. Add you favorite nut mylk to achieve the consistency you want.
8 ounces of carrot juice
1 ounce of beet juice
4 ounces of celery juice
1 ounce of parsley juice
Simply mix all these ingredients and your hangover cure is ready.
1 cup orange juice
1 cup pineapple juice
1 tablespoon Vitamin B enriched yeast
1 tablespoon agave
Mix all the above mentioned ingredients in a blender, (mix well). Your nutritional and tasty fruit cocktail is ready. Drink it and feel an instant energy boost.
You smell like dumpster and your mouth tastes like the carpet at a strip club. You look down at your arm and notice 5 stamps. Fuck. You get up to wash your face and when you get to the bathroom you notice the 3 stamps on your forehead. Your immediate reaction is to make sure you are wearing pants… you’re not. In fact, you have somehow managed to keep your shoes on as you removed your pants AND underwear at some point early this morning…
YOU NEED A DRINK.. STAT … Let me introduce to you the GREEN MIMOSA
1 part green juice ( Spinach, cucumber, apple, kale, lemon, ginger is my favorite)
1 part Organic Raw Kombucha
Mix in a glass and enjoy.
Kombucha is an all natural health beverage full of probiotics and other healthy amino acids. Probiotics are said to boost immunity, enhance mood, regulate pH, and detoxify the body. Quadruple win!
***DO NOT SHAKE YOUR KOMBUCHA. You will end up wearing it.
As with hiccups, nearly everyone has a favorite hangover cure. Throughout history, whole cultures have come up with some bizarre and creative hangover remedies. Like how in the name of all things mighty does one even come up with something so ridiculous? See for yourself…
Ancient Greece: Sheep lungs and owl eggs. Let me just go grab them from my pantry…
Ancient Rome: Two fried canaries. Like, pet Canaries?
Medieval England: A paste of bitter almonds and fried eels. ????
Germany: Sour herring. Okay, somewhat normal…
Haiti: Stick 13 pins into the cork of the bottle you drank from. Oh, I get it, it’s witchcraft…
Ireland: Bury the hangover sufferer up to his neck in a sandy riverbank… and leave them to die?
Japan: Pickled plums. interesting, I may try that
Mongolia: Pickled sheep eyes in tomato juice. blech
Poland: Pickled beet juice. YUMMY!
Puerto Rico: Lemon slices, rubbed under the armpits, before drinking. If it doesn’t work at least you’ll be, So fresh and so clean, clean
Romania: Tripe (cow intestines). That’s just stupid
United States (Old West): Rabbit poop. Oh goody! Chocolate!
… Let’s keep things animal free but just as bizarre with OIL PULLING…
In the morning, after a long night, on an empty stomach you take one tablespoon of sesame or sunflower oil in the mouth but do not swallow it. Move Oil Slowly in the mouth as rinsing or swishing and pull through the teeth’ for fifteen to twenty minutes. This process makes oil thoroughly mix with saliva. Swishing activates the enzymes and the enzymes draw toxins out of the blood. The oil must not be swallowed, for it has become toxic. As the process continues, the oil gets thinner and white. If the oil is still yellow, it has not been pulled long enough. After 20 minutes spit out the oil, the mouth must be washed thoroughly. Just use normal tap water and good ol’ finger tools to clean.
The oil pulling /swishing is done best before breakfast. To accelerate the healing process, it can be repeated three times a day, but always before meals on an empty stomach. Try it!
Out till 4am? Did you wake up on the floor next to what you thought was your bed? Are you feeling like you were hit by a train, while simultaneously walking into a wall and smashing your face off a door? I know that feeling all to well!
This smoothie is about to become your new best friend. All of these ingredients are there to help with stomach issues, refuel and re-hydrate the body, and help relax the mind– all good things for treating a hangover, yes? Yes!
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup young thai coconut water
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tbsp maca
1/2 cup frozen mixed berries
4 drops Milk Thistle
Toss all ingredients in a blender. Grab a glass straw and enjoy in bed.
Alcohol makes you piss like a race horse. Not only are you losing fluids but you are also depleting your body of necessary vitamins! ACK! Vitamins will help to get your ass out of bed after a night of partying; and will also offer a host of other health benefits!!
Vitamin A– Vitamin A helps form and maintain healthy skin, teeth, skeletal and soft tissue, mucus membranes, and skin. You are going to need help with allllll of those if you are staying up until 4am. Carrots pal! CARROTS, drink it in juice, eat a couple stalks, or just take a tbsp of spirulina!
Vitamin B – Bloodshot eyes and an unbalanced nervous system come together with a hangover headache. Vitamin B1 calms nerves while B2 helps with bloodshot eyes among other overall positive effects on your body. No one neeeeds to know how shitty you feel by looking into your eyes.
Vitamin C – Vitamin C will help stimulate the liver, and help it break down the alcohol that is still in your system. Alcohol also depresses the immune system, so consider taking vitamin C to help ward off the cold or flu after drinking. So drink a glass or orange juice or make a smoothie with acai berries!
Vitamin D – Your nervous system is in shreds during an alcohol hangover, so vitamin D helps soothe shaky nerves. It also helps heal any broken bones you might have sustained from falling down steps when drunk. Trust me… I know.
Simply eat something delicious that contains these vitamins will do the trick of hangover relief nicely. Or Juice… The answer to all questions is freshly juiced fruits and vegetables!